“The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.” – Keith Ferrazzi
What is a Social Hub?
A social hub is the person that connects different social groups. They’re basically a “super networker” but forget the cliches and insincerity. A social hub is someone people meet and feel like they have known them their whole life. But, most importantly the social hub is incredibly well informed with the events and people in their circle. This is the essence of the social hub.
In high school I had a friend who was the ultimate social hub. His name was Joe Cannavaro and he was the man in the high school party scene. People were always asking him where the good parties were on the weekend. His phone was ringing off the chain. He acted as the intermediary between different social circles, he was an event broker. His market knowledge of the party scene in high school was off the charts.
Joe was knowledgeable, social, and the life of the party. People like Joe exist in every circle, from professional networks to community basketball leagues.
The Cause of Social Life Struggles
People with social life problems are the ones who take the complete opposite approach of Joe. They want someone else or a 3rd party to figure out their social life for them. When they grow distant with one of their friends they wonder why that person stopped talking to them, rather than reaching out to them. If both people in a friendship are like this, the friendship will quickly fizzle out.
The issue here is people being passive and expecting others to do all the work for you.
I think this is a cultural dynamic. People are now using apps to help them… not just date, but also to make friends. These apps would not exist and grow if there was not demand for this type of service. Maybe this is a change for the better, maybe for the worse, maybe neither.
I’m old school and I enjoy when people know the best events and people to introduce you to, rather than a multi-million dollar apps coded in Silicon Valley (where there are more dogs than kids). In dating this phenomena is obviously much more evident. The cultural tide has quickly shifted so online dating is firmly in the mainstream, and so are hookup apps. I enjoy the idea of knowing that I am the key holder in my friendships and relationships. It’s the difference between owning a home with no mortgage and renting a an apartment.
People are ignorant about the importance of mindset in this area of their life. They don’t delve deeply into the philosophy and cultural implication of these technological changes. They don’t realize they’re renting their relationships when they are depending wholly on an app or technology for their friendships or dating opportunities.
And I don’t blame people for their ignorance. It’s a lot easier than understanding the truth.
The End of the Laissez-Faire Social Life
The phrase laissez-faire is part of a larger French phrase and translates to “let do”, but in this context usually means “let go”. The Laissez-Faire Social Life is a social life that you let be; when you want to speak to someone you speak to them, when you don’t want to speak to someone you don’t speak to them. This is how all your interactions work, they are based off how you feel in the moment. There is never any extra effort, and you expect you relationships and social life to handle itself.
80% of people (including myself) are too laissez-faire in their social life/dating life/professional life. This is super important for introverts, who they tend to be more laissez-faire in their social affairs. Like anything else in life, if you want to have anything great in your life you need to work towards it. Having a highly exceptional social life will necessitate certain actions. This may include things like using less social media, downgrading your smartphone, or simply calling your friends and family more often.
One thing that is true, is that your social life needs to happen offline.
If you want a simply way to improve your social life, become more proactive. Invite people out more often, call people more often. It’s very simple – but most things in life are.